22nd April
My first IVF Cycle went as well as can be expected. Aside from some minor freak outs during the medication taking and thinking every time some leaked out that I was scuppering my chances – it was quite text book and thankfully was not cancelled. I had 12 eggs collected, 8 of which fertilized overnight with my partners super sperm. I had 2 embryos transferred after 3 days. Of the balance 6 none made it to 5 day blast stage so I had none to freeze – gutted. Unfortunately my text book cycle didn’t result in a pregnancy – super gutted. And I found this out on the day that Sir Robert Edwards the founding father/ The daddy of IVF died. I took at HPT the day before my blood test and it was negative so I was prepared for the official news from my fertility clinic the next day. So once again all my imagined symptoms – cramping and sore boobs were just symptoms of the Progesterone pessaries I had to shove up my jacksy twice a day. (No one ever said fertility treatment was easy.) What did I learn from my IVF experience? I’m not going to sugar coat it – because it is a lot and it is not easy! And I was on the short protocol – so it could have been worse and a lot longer! The hormones you’re taking magnify all your moods tenfold – think of PMS but worse. I took the stimming drugs for exactly 2 weeks which consisted of Gonal F injections every evening at 9pm and from day 5 Cetrotide every morning at 7.30am. Yes you do have to take them at the exact same time every day. Then I had to Trigger with Ovitrelle at 11.30pm - 2 days before my Egg Collection surgery. Not bad as I hear some people are told to trigger in the small hours of the morning. I was however at The Show when I had to trigger – that’s the Blackstreet, Dru Hill, Changing Faces, Damage and Jodeci concert. My partner shielding my upper thigh while I whipped out my injection. Don’t even ask about trying to get it passed security. As a lot of the IVF medication has to be refrigerated I had to transport my trigger shot in an ice pack to the venue. Fun times!! I got used to injecting myself and was a dab hand by the end – always remembering my diabetic sister when I was doing one – she has to take insulin 4 times a day. The worst part of the experience aside from the negative test and the depression that descended afterwards – was the progesterone pessaries that I had to take. If the treatment had of worked I would have had to take those for the first 12 weeks as well as refrain from sex for the first 12 weeks!! Yoikes!! It’s a wonder it really is because women who get pregnant naturally do not have to deal with either of those or any other restrictions in their pregnancies that are common place with IVFers.
So after years of trying to conceive and then waiting for the IVF treatment I find myself back at square one – childless and broody and getting older. Will I do IVF again? I don’t know. I’m still getting over the experience and if it didn’t work again I’m not sure I could handle it. Its one of those things you think is going to work, it’s the solution to infertility but in all actually it’s not really like that. Realistically first time IVF has very low success rates as it’s usually a trial to test how you respond to medication. Does this mean a second attempt will be successful – who knows? I’m not getting any younger and my ovarian reserve is already low so while I wait for my follow up appointment I’m left wondering what I could have done differently, what I should have done differently – maybe I should have rested more, been on complete bed rest after Embryo Transfer, should I have drank more water, should I not have insisted on acupuncture on the day of embryo transfer. I don’t really know if anything I did or didn’t do specifically caused what appeared to be a great cycle to fail at the last hurdle. I don’t know if there is anything I can do going forward that will improve my chances for success in the future. I admire the many women I have met whilst on my journey who have done IVF many, many times in the hopes of conceiving. What I do know is I need a break from the fertility treadmill I’ve been running on for the last few years. Starting with a holiday!
x x
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