Change is good!!

On the journey that is my life, it is my belief that I have a duty to become a better person.  In order to do this I am constantly growing and evolving – trying to become the best me I can be, for myself and for others.

Wherever this journey takes me and whatever I do, I know that I am striving to never stop learning about myself.  Who I am today is not who I was 20, 15 or even 10 years ago.  Who I will be 10 years from now is not who I am today.  The principals of my character will be the same but I will be a better version of the person you see today.

So with this in mind, how is it possible to have successful relationships when society in general expects you to stay the same?  When Irreconcilable Differences are cited as one of the top reasons for divorce in the western world?  When people are often told that they have changed and it’s meant as a bad thing?

In my opinion you should enter relationships, romantic and otherwise, with the knowledge that you both will change throughout its course, and this is not only a good thing – it’s a great thing.  As with buildings, the foundations are what is key to a successful relationship.  You cannot build anything that is meant to be sustainable if the foundations are weak.  Common core values and ideals are a must.  You cannot have a long standing relationship if your values are different and if your destinations don’t match.  Along with the staples love, trust, honesty and respect, don’t forget the teachings of the Dalai Lama - understanding and compassion.  Whilst you’re growing and evolving so are the people around you.  You may not grow at the same rate or even in the same direction at times because you’re journeys are not one and the same.  But your foundations and your destination are the base that will keep you strong.

Lastly, the notion that you are half of something and need someone in order to complete you need to be thrown out the window.  You are a whole being already, you are enough.  What you need is someone that will come into your life and compliment it, by supporting you, loving you and understanding you – whilst appreciating the fact that you are growing.

x x

Free your mind - and the rest will follow

“You are responsible for how you feel no matter what someone does to you. Remember you are always in control of your thoughts - so choose to feel confident and adequate rather than angry and insecure” 

I believe I am the keeper of my own destiny.  Although I cannot control everything I am willing to control the things that I can.  Mainly my perceptions, my attitude, my thoughts and my feelings.  Shit happens all the time and I can choose to wallow in it or pick up myself up and keep it moving.  There’s not point moaning about your job when you’re not doing anything to change the situation.  There’s no point moaning about being single when you’re not dating or doing anything to meet new people.  There is no point moaning about life and then doing the exact the same things and not changing anything.

It’s not until my early thirties that I really began the question the meaning of life and why I am here.  What’s it all for and what’s it all about.  We live in such a materialistic society that it’s easy for us to be autonomous as humans.  Easy to live completely for ourselves with just a fleeting and detached passing thought for others and even when things appear to be glaringly obvious cries for help, we’re able to distance ourselves and look down other people without any shred of compassion or understanding.

I’m now seeking a path of enlightenment and self awareness.  I’m practising yoga daily and trying to keep myself in tune with the universe and keep my spirit on an even keel and at a safe equilibrium.  I’m finding myself on meditation retreats with my local wellness centre – learning how to meditate and zone out of negative situations that occur.  My life needs to be stress free not just right now but at all times.  I do not need to absorb the negativity around me.  I find that stressful working environments cause us to absorb the negativity of others to our own detriment.  We don’t even realise we are doing it half the time and hence my need to step outside of myself sometimes.  It’s in these times of quite stillness and solitude that I find I am able to connect with myself on a deeper level – remembering who I am as a person without the outside influences of who I think I need to be.  I believe this is something we all should do because at the moment we are all lost – not just the people that are blatantly acting out like the rioters or the rogue American Soldier - all of us.

x x